Saturday, 25 September 2010

I couldn't resist this ...

I claim no credit for the below ... it comes from a website at and I use it here with absolutely no permission at all from the incredibly knowledgeable owner of that site, Frank J. Hoose, Jr ... I am hoping that by adding his link in here, he won't sue me, kill my as-yet-unconceived children or burn my house down ...

So ... why is it here?

Well, it saved me trying to write something even half as amusing about a tendency I have noted in myself over the years, and as I am scanning the 'net just now for a new lathe & milling machine (or preferably a second hand one, European made, as all the new ones I can afford are from China), I am clearly not fully cured - in fact I suppose having a blog called "pimp my toolbox" probably makes that pretty clear in any case ;-)

It also made me laugh a lot. Yes, I know, I have an odd sense of humour.
So here it is ... enjoy!

Tool Envy Syndrome (TES)

Tool Envy Syndrome (TES) is a serious condition that afflicts, in varying degrees, nearly all men who are interested in mechanical things. It is very important to recognize and deal with this condition before it becomes serious; left untreated it can lead to a far more serious condition: Inflammation of the Credit Card (ICC). TES is known to strike under the following circumstances:

* Browsing the latest tool catalogs or sale flyers
* Visiting stores such as Grizzly or Harbor Freight (Warning: while much less so than in earlier years, the tool department at Sears can still trigger small attacks)
* Visiting the shop of a friend who has more and/or better tools than you have
* Surfing the web site of someone with a well-equipped shop
* Seeing a well-equipped shop in magazines such as Home Shop Machinist

Tool Envy Syndrome tends to strike young men particularly hard, due its close relationship to a similar condition: Gear Acquisition Syndrome (GAS). Over time, in most men, both of these conditions tend to lessen in severity. In fact, it can be shown that gradual accumulation of tools and gear over a period of years can control both conditions while minimizing the risk of Inflammation of the the Credit Card (this is known as the Mature Phase). It has also been widely observed that getting married and having children can moderate the risk; primarily, it is believed, due to counseling from a loving wife and the sobering effect of having lots more bills to pay.

Tool Envy Syndrome cannot be controlled by any known drugs (although its effects can be exaggerated by the use of alcohol). Therefore, treatment is currently limited primarily to counseling methods. The first step is admitting that you have a problem. Here are some additonal pointers:

* Avoid situations that are likely to cause an attack
* When visiting tool stores, leave your credit card at home (Warning: in severely afflicted individuals this can trigger emotional breakdown, fits of crying and other irrational behavior)
* Meditate on the fine collection of tools that you already have; recognize that time will make it better
* Find a quiet place. Visualize your ideal shop. Repeat to yourself "It is coming"

I hope you have found this information to be helpful. As a TES/GAS sufferer myself (now in the Mature Phase) I felt compelled to pass it on to you.

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